Inception

Director Christopher Nolan once described Inception as a "sci-fi action thriller." SRSBZNZ is going to say that Nolan's latest movie is more like the tripped-out, cerebral lovechild of Ocean's 11 and Shutter Island. In other words, Inception completely defies categorization and is one of the few movies to make us realize that - hoshit! - we, the audience, are actually smart and we like intelligent movies!

For a brainy film, Inception's plot is surprisingly simple. Leo DiCaprio is a thief named Cobb who specializes in the art of infiltrating people's minds and stealing their ideas. All Cobb wants to do is go home, but he's a fugitive. Enter Saito, a sinister businessman played by Ken Watanabe, who presents Cobb with an offer he can't refuse: he can go home if he eliminates Saito's business rival by planting an idea in the latter's head (i.e. inception.) The Ocean's 11 bit comes when Cobb assembles the team to help him complete the job.

Inception is a fantastic ensemble piece and the cast is one of the main reasons why the film works at all. Movies based on complicated ideas tend to have a lot of exposition. Indeed, most of Cobb's dialogue involves pontificating about his job and the nature of dreams to the audience. In less skilled hands, this exposition-as-dialogue can kill characterization and plot development faster than an anvil falling on a piano. Nevertheless, Nolan and the cast actually get away with it. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who plays Cobb's right hand man, Arthur, is a good example. From his perfectly slicked hair to his stoic manner, he radiates suavity and competence even when all he's doing is explaining what the hell is happening in the film. The actresses are also outstanding. Ellen Page, as the architectural wunderkind Ariadne, spends the first half of the movie listening to Cobb's lectures, and she still manages to imbue her character with toughness and intelligence.

Devotees of modern art and optical illusions will adore the sets, which range from a classy hotel to a fortress high in the mountains. And the film's soundtrack deserves a special mention. Nolan uses the song "Non, Je ne regrette rien" as a major plot point in the film. The classic number was sung by Edith Piaf, and fans of Marion Cotillard (who plays Cobb's wife) will know that the lovely actress portrayed Piaf in the movie La vie en rose. However, SRSBZNZ does have one gripe about the sound mixing. We like Hans Zimmer's scores as much as the next movie-goer, but whoever was in charge of sound decided to drown out half of the characters' words with overpowering music. It's annoying, to say the least.

As a last note, we personally loved the ending, even though its ambiguity left 90% of the theater's audience crying out in frustration. The director clearly scoffed at the idea that every movie has to have a definitive ending, and we love him for that.

SRSBZNZ gives Inception 3 out of 3 tribbles.

EDIT: SRSBZNZ would like to present a very astute observation made by our friend, Mahak. Regarding the adorable Joseph Gordon-Levitt, she said, "I was amazed that no matter how many times he spun in that hamster wheel of a corridor, his hair *never* moved. It was like MAGIC." Well, there you have it, folks. Forget everything we said in our review - Mahak's comment identifies the real reason why Inception is awesomesauce.

Repo Men

"It's bloodier than Inglourious Basterds." - Our mom.

Based on the novel "Repossession Mambo" by Eric Garcia, Repo Men is a sexy, gleefully violent film with a serious message at its core. The premise: in the not-so-distant future, a company called "The Union" sells pricy, artifical organs to the populace. Remy (played by an extremely charming, muscular Jude Law) is an employee of The Union. He's not a salesman though. He's a repo man whose job is to forcibly remove the artiforg from your body if you fall behind in payments. Remy enjoys his career, especially when he works alongside his best friend, Jake (played by a deranged-looking, badass Forest Whittaker.) However, when a job goes wrong, our anti-hero is forced to get an artificial heart. And that's when he starts having second thoughts about his job.

This film is definitely not for everyone. If you're the kind of gal who feels faint at the sight of blood or can't stand to watch those E.R. shows on TLC, you should either stay away from Repo Men or bring a barf bag to the theater. The film is action-packed and has enough scenes featuring vivisection to keep your inner sadistic surgeon happy. Nevertheless, the violence in Repo Men never feels gratuitous. On the contrary, the film's focus on blood, gore, and guts is completely necessary: it highlights how human life has become terrifyingly cheap in a world where good health is a commodity, and not a basic human right.

The soundtrack is one of the best aspects of Repo Men. Most of the songs pay homage to the book title by being of the big band, swing era. More importantly, such happy music only serves to heighten the film's black humor. When the movie opens with Remy humming merrily along to Rosemary Clooney's "Sway" as he slices and dices his latest victim, you know you're in for a treat.

The film's only drawback might be its lack of subtlety. The movie doesn't hestitate to thrust its morals in our face by giving Remy and Jake long monologues that would make Hamlet jealous. But we're going to assume that you won't be seeing this movie for its tactfulness. Go see this movie for its stylized violence, vision of a dystopian future, and the palpable chemistry between Jude Law and Forest Whittaker.

We give Repo Men 2 out of 3 tribbles.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter ... Yes, It's Real.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, you ask? But what is this magic? Can this be real?

Yes, it is one hundred percent real, it is one hundred percent awesome - okay, maybe like 92 percent awesome, we'll get to the other 8 percent in a moment - and, for those of you who get all your entertainment from the interwebz, it is one hundred percent streaming on Netflix.

The premise is this: Vampires have been murdering lesbians in a town, which is presumably Ottawa, because that is where it was filmed. Why, you ask? Because they can wear the lesbians' skin out in the sunshine, so that they will no longer be limited to night-stalking. Ignoring the fact that that's SO CREEPY (wearing their skin??? GROSS), who can save the lesbians from the horrible fate of becoming just another fur in the shop? Jesus, of course!

We will refrain from telling you more of the plot, but suffice it to say, this movie is kind of epic. Probably our favorite moment while watching the movie was when Jesus pulled out some money and our friend said, "That looks like Monopoly money," and - being expert Canadian money-spotters - it dawned on us that not only was this film a low-budget camp-fest, it was a low-budget Canadian camp-fest. We have a soft spot for anything Canadian because, well, one of us used to live in Canada and the other one still does. Also, Canada kind of rocks.

Our other favorite moment was when a lady vampire tried to kick Jesus in the face, so he pulled off her shoe and whacked her in the head with it.

The only aspect of this movie that we can complain about is the sound quality. Since it's so low-budget, it's often hard to hear what everyone is saying, not to mention the "background" music is often in the foreground. (It's loud.) But let's face it, who needs sound quality when you have Jesus beating people up with tennis shoes?

SRSBZNZ hearts Star Trek, so we're implementing a new film-rating system, right now, as we type this. We're spontaneous like that. We give this movie two-point-five out of three tribbles. It's awesome, but the sound issues were a little irritating.