So Good, But So Bad: "Doomsday"

 Our favorite episode of Doctor Who is the one called "Doomsday," wherein the Daleks and the Cybermen battle it out for control of the Earth.We cannot even describe the awesomeness of this battle. Two robotic species with mechanical voices, shouting "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" and "Delete! Delete!" as they shoot lasers at each other? Don't even get us started. It is amazing. It is hilarious. It is brilliant and full of things exploding. (Sidenote, gentlemen: We love explosions and spent all day watching the World Cup. Remind us why we're still single?)

Our least favorite episode of Doctor Who is the one called "Doomsday," wherein the Doctor and Rose Tyler are separated forever. We cannot even describe the sadness it causes. We, who never cry at movies or television shows, ever; we, who did not shed a single tear during Titanic, when everyone around us was sniffling and sobbing ... we tear up EVERY TIME we watch this episode. (Okay, maybe that's why we're still single. Who cries at science fiction?)

We think it's rather unfortunate that these two episodes are the same. On the one hand, it is PURE AWESOMENESS; on the other hand, it is the end of an era for Doctor Who. Rose Tyler is our faaaaavorite (although Amy Pond is definitely giving her a run for her money. Man, we love Amy Pond). The first episodes of Doctor Who we ever watched were from season 3, with Martha Jones. We loved Martha Jones ... until we met Rose. Martha's okay, we guess, but she's not Rose. Every episode involves her being clueless for, like, twenty very important minutes before she FINALLY figures out what's going on. And she's kind of whiny. Mostly, though, we just feel sorry for her because she so desperately wants the Doctor's love and he's all hung up on Rose (as we all are). So not only does the best episode of this show involve the end of Rose Tyler, it also signals the beginning of the Doctor's lackluster partnership/rebound with Martha. It totally kills the hilarious alien robot battle vibe.

And this episode had such potential.

Sidenote: Who wants to buy us those action figures?

Image from starstore.com.

For the Ladies: Tips on Purchasing Comics at a Con

SRSBZNZ is going to confess a secret. Recently, at Calgary's Comic and Entertainment Expo, we popped our comic book cherry by dropping hundreds of dollars on back issues. Even though we couldn't afford to buy a McDonald's Happy Meal at the end of the day, we were satisfied. The Canadian half of SRSBZNZ is now the proud owner of several first edition issues of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Plus, we managed to grab the latest Spidey graphic novel, featuring the most obvious superhero team-up in the world: Peter Parker and Barack Obama.

All bragging rights aside, we want to share a few things we learned from our experience at the Expo. We're not comic-book specialists, but girls, keep the following tips in mind when you're at your next Convention.

Tip #1: Bargain, bargain, bargain

We'll be honest: we've never haggled for anything in our lives. As good North American citizens, we follow the price tag and obediently fork over the necessary amount of money without question. However, buying comics at a convention has turned us into a C.H. - a Certified Haggler. You will be shocked, dear reader, at the amount of ruthlessness and sheer business acumen you possess when you want to own that first edition issue, but don't have enough money to cover $100. Bottom line: don't pay the amount on the price tag. However, you'll have an easier time bargaining if you're buying several issues simultaneously.

Tip #2: Be nice to the vendors.

While haggling is a "must" for purchasing comics at a convention, be polite. The sales people will be much more willing to give you a good price on the comics if you refrain from being the customer from hell. Moreover, society tends to think that we geeks lack social grace. What better setting to disprove that theory than a comic book convention?

Tip #3: Display your feminine charms.

Fact: places in which comic books can be found are special ecosystems in which all sorts of species thrive and exist. However, this ecosystem tends to lack a particular type of organism - i.e. humans of the female variety. Being a lady at a convention thus has many advantages. At the Expo, we met a Montreal vendor who kindly cut the purchase price for ten comics nearly to half, because he said that we were "nice," "pretty," and "smelled good." (The vendor later clarified that he wasn't hitting on us, because he was married. Nevertheless, he proceeded to ask us for the name of our perfume so he could buy it for his wife.) Bottom line: it pays to be a decent-looking girl in a comic book store. And there is nothing wrong with taking advantage of what your momma gave you.

Repo Men

"It's bloodier than Inglourious Basterds." - Our mom.

Based on the novel "Repossession Mambo" by Eric Garcia, Repo Men is a sexy, gleefully violent film with a serious message at its core. The premise: in the not-so-distant future, a company called "The Union" sells pricy, artifical organs to the populace. Remy (played by an extremely charming, muscular Jude Law) is an employee of The Union. He's not a salesman though. He's a repo man whose job is to forcibly remove the artiforg from your body if you fall behind in payments. Remy enjoys his career, especially when he works alongside his best friend, Jake (played by a deranged-looking, badass Forest Whittaker.) However, when a job goes wrong, our anti-hero is forced to get an artificial heart. And that's when he starts having second thoughts about his job.

This film is definitely not for everyone. If you're the kind of gal who feels faint at the sight of blood or can't stand to watch those E.R. shows on TLC, you should either stay away from Repo Men or bring a barf bag to the theater. The film is action-packed and has enough scenes featuring vivisection to keep your inner sadistic surgeon happy. Nevertheless, the violence in Repo Men never feels gratuitous. On the contrary, the film's focus on blood, gore, and guts is completely necessary: it highlights how human life has become terrifyingly cheap in a world where good health is a commodity, and not a basic human right.

The soundtrack is one of the best aspects of Repo Men. Most of the songs pay homage to the book title by being of the big band, swing era. More importantly, such happy music only serves to heighten the film's black humor. When the movie opens with Remy humming merrily along to Rosemary Clooney's "Sway" as he slices and dices his latest victim, you know you're in for a treat.

The film's only drawback might be its lack of subtlety. The movie doesn't hestitate to thrust its morals in our face by giving Remy and Jake long monologues that would make Hamlet jealous. But we're going to assume that you won't be seeing this movie for its tactfulness. Go see this movie for its stylized violence, vision of a dystopian future, and the palpable chemistry between Jude Law and Forest Whittaker.

We give Repo Men 2 out of 3 tribbles.

Wednesday is For the Ladies: A Handy Guide to Science Fiction

Being ladies, we understand that sometimes men can be a bit confusing. We also understand that some ladies do not find science fiction as fascinating as we do, and they really only put up with it out of love for said confusing men. It's all good. But if you're looking for a guide to some of the more famous sci-fi characters (and, okay, Jesus), look no further:

Photo credit to somebody's Xanga, via our (and when we say "our," we refer to both writers of this blog) friend Adam. You rock, Adam!

The Enterprise...SHE EXISTS!

If Gene Roddenberry were still alive, he'd be crapping himself.

Sir Richard Branson, billionaire owner of that corporate conglomeration with the really suggestive name - that's Virgin Group to you, peasants - launched his spaceship on its first test flight over the Mojave Desert at 7:05 am yesterday (Monday, March 22.) The spaceship is part of Virgin Galactic's commercial space travel program. She holds six passengers and has been named the Virgin Spaceship (VSS) Enterprise. For those of you hoping to board the mothership, tickets are going for $200,000.

News of the maiden flight makes SRSBZNZ inordinately excited, given the fact that every time a plane flies overhead, we always imagine that it is the Enterprise anyways. We're slightly ashamed to admit, though, that we think that "VSS Enterprise" sounds vaguely dirty. It could moonlight as the title for a new Star Trek-inspired porno. Nevertheless, it's sweet that Virgin tipped its hat to the man who told us to boldly go in the first place.

For more information about the maiden flight, check out this article.

If the VSS Enterprise was a movie, we'd employ our new movie rating system by giving it three out of three tribbles.

NOTE: No tribbles were harmed in the making of this rating system. We may occasionally joke about using tribbles to adorn Zoe Saldana's dress or employing one as a brillo pad, but we're only kidding. Tribbles are awesome: they're cute, furry, make cooing noises, and their only goals in life are to eat and reproduce. If we're being frank, we wouldn't mind living that kind of existence too.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter ... Yes, It's Real.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, you ask? But what is this magic? Can this be real?

Yes, it is one hundred percent real, it is one hundred percent awesome - okay, maybe like 92 percent awesome, we'll get to the other 8 percent in a moment - and, for those of you who get all your entertainment from the interwebz, it is one hundred percent streaming on Netflix.

The premise is this: Vampires have been murdering lesbians in a town, which is presumably Ottawa, because that is where it was filmed. Why, you ask? Because they can wear the lesbians' skin out in the sunshine, so that they will no longer be limited to night-stalking. Ignoring the fact that that's SO CREEPY (wearing their skin??? GROSS), who can save the lesbians from the horrible fate of becoming just another fur in the shop? Jesus, of course!

We will refrain from telling you more of the plot, but suffice it to say, this movie is kind of epic. Probably our favorite moment while watching the movie was when Jesus pulled out some money and our friend said, "That looks like Monopoly money," and - being expert Canadian money-spotters - it dawned on us that not only was this film a low-budget camp-fest, it was a low-budget Canadian camp-fest. We have a soft spot for anything Canadian because, well, one of us used to live in Canada and the other one still does. Also, Canada kind of rocks.

Our other favorite moment was when a lady vampire tried to kick Jesus in the face, so he pulled off her shoe and whacked her in the head with it.

The only aspect of this movie that we can complain about is the sound quality. Since it's so low-budget, it's often hard to hear what everyone is saying, not to mention the "background" music is often in the foreground. (It's loud.) But let's face it, who needs sound quality when you have Jesus beating people up with tennis shoes?

SRSBZNZ hearts Star Trek, so we're implementing a new film-rating system, right now, as we type this. We're spontaneous like that. We give this movie two-point-five out of three tribbles. It's awesome, but the sound issues were a little irritating.

SRSBZNZ: BZNZ

Dear Reader,

SRSBZNZ is currently experiencing technical difficulties. PLZ to bear with us; we will BBS. We're going to go ahead and say next week. Call it Spring Break, although we'll be working all week.

May the Force be with you (and us),

SRSBZNZ

Oh, and happy St. Patty's day. Send us your pictures of leprechaun sightings.